MurderWorld Army, or; The Cast

Fuckhead. That's me. I procrastinate often and want to have sex all the time. But I don't really want to have sex in real-life, because that would imply some emotional involvement of some kind. But I don't want to have sex with someone that I'm not involved with, because then I'd be using them. I've got much too much guilt to do something like that. So I have a vivid imagination instead. The Beatles are the greatest band ever. If you don't like them...Fuck you self righteous, pious independent rock posers! Or any other loser who can't see the group for what they are. Which is the best band ever. First Appearance, (As AdventureDog), in: Everyone I Know Is a Jerk

Dad. Dad rules. He's funny and he's remarkably angry and bitter about certain things, especially the Chicago Cubs. First Appearance: Dad is Funny.

Jello Soda. Super-Fox with blonde hair and blue eyes. My friend from school. Watch out! She dresses to impress. Also, she's funny and sincere. First Appearance,(As J), in: When We Go Nowhere

Ellie Baker. I'm still processing the fact that I even met this person. First Appearance, (uncredited, but the implied subject of several sentences), in: When We Go Nowhere.

Steve Rogers. Captain America, man. No longer a resident of Murderworld. First Appearance in: Everyone I Know is a Jerk.

The Cat. One day his story will be told. He goes by many names, and it is my suspicion that somehow, he controls MurderWorld. Or, he's just a stray cat I picked up. First Appearance (as the cat), in: Mailman, Please Bring Me Some Porn.

The DeathMarch. The crazy lady I work with. She's happy, then she's sad, then she's happy again. She does something nice for you, then she talks shit about you when you leave the room. When she hears a new piece of information, she usually responds with "That's not good. Not good." She starts almost every day off with a complaint. First Appearance: Fucked Up Stuff.

HellHole Industries, or; The Hellhole. While you sleep, I work. Unless you live in Japan. But you propably don't speak this crazy language. So you won't be offended when I say 'Fuck Off.' The Hellhole is deep with despair, rife with happiness. How can two qualities comingle in one place? Fuck me. 'Cuz I like some of the people and the rest talk fucking nonsense. The HellHole has a wicked playlist. One day you will know these tunes as I do.